Finding Time and the BIG “Busy” Lie

One of the things I struggled with the most during my graduate career was managing time. More succinctly, managing my emotions about others people’s time. “There is never enough time,” “I have got to find more hours in the day.” I’m busy is a statement that grinds my gears. They say it like it’s a damn protective spell. I hear it as someone trying to convince me of a lie. You know how people that lie repeat themselves entirely too much. There are the same amount of hours every day. So when my classmates ask me, “Kim, how do you find the time,” or “have so much time,” I shake my head, smile, and say plan. Most of my classmates did not work before the graduate program and jumped straight from undergraduate school to a Master’s program. Well, let’s make it more clear.

1. Treat every day like a 9 -5 job.

Above is a typical calendar. The blue is my classes, and the red is team meetings. Unlike Beyonce or Doja Cat, my schedule does not change from some jet-setting trip or gig. These blocks are my anchors. Regardless of what looks like free time, I treat every day like a 9 to 5. I pull up to “work” at 8:30, read and get ready to start working promptly at 9:30. Around 9 am, my classmate’s trickle in, and I have the equivalent of water-cooler chats. From 9:30 to 12:15 is the easy part; I am clearly in class. But at 12:15, when I take my lunch break, I make sure to wrap it up by 1:30. Then from 1:30 to 5, I do my school work. That’s what most of America does. Who said homework needs to be done at night like you are in grade school. And when people are off work, that’s when you can play. Even on Fridays, when I am “off,” most people work 40 hours, so I take my ass to work work and substitute teach. And if I have “free time, I do the school work” while the kids are working. Free time is only free if you deem it so. I know you aren’t getting paid try and see it as paying yourself in knowledge, peace of mind, and a worry-free weekend. You have to get in the habit of working.

2. Take your ass to bed; you are grown; you only need 5-7 hours of sleep; get up and stop wasting your morning

I go to bed at 10 pm and wake up at 5 am. Even when I go to bed at 11 pm, I can still get 7 hours of sleep and be up by 6 am. Between 6 and 8:30 am is enough time to do something. I like to work out. Even if I don’t go to the gym, I work out at home, take a morning walk. And still have time to shower and stop by Dunkin. Stop thinking of yourself as locked into being a morning or night person. I say I am an efficient person. Anyone who knows me knows I do not like being bothered in the morning. But I get up and do what is necessary to be productive.

3. Your “Free” Time should be free, and your Happy Hours should be happy. Make it sacred.

After 5, I don’t work. Period. I go to happy hour on Thursdays; I go to dinner, hang out with my friends, or sit at home and watch One Piece. From 5-10 pm weekdays, and on the weekend anything goes until 10 pm on Sunday. I get very frustrated when people, especially my team, hit me up and ask for something over the weekend, “so it’s ready Monday”. Be courteous. Keep your lack of time management to yourself, please. 40 hours working 49 hours for fun. That is balance baby; fun is adjusted to accommodate a slower pace. Now, if you start cutting into that, that’s how you get off balance. I’ll speak for myself, I will be way off balance and might come out of pocket. If I am at the church of the Waffle House on a Saturday night and you bother me, it can wait, I’ll respect your time, and you can respect mine.

We all tend to overestimate the time that we work. Example: In my graduate program we keep a timesheet for our project that no one uses. I do. And people are shook when I come for their neck with accountability conversations. So try and track what you are doing and when you are doing it. If you start being idle, log it. Also, be honest with yourself. Another example: I notice in tutoring people talk the whole time and then have the audacity to say I studied for two hours and get mad when they fail the test. In my head, it’s like no, you complained for two hours. Give yourself some parameters, grace only gets you so far.